Wednesday, September 06, 2006

สายฟ้า

ก้อนเมฆของเมื่อวานกับวันนี้ไม่เหมือนกัน
ก้อนเมฆของเมื่อวานกับวานซืนยิ่งต่าง
บางวันมีเมฆหนาพื้นที่สีขาวครองท้องฟ้า
บางวันเป็นเพียงสายเบาบางเผยให้เห็นฟ้ากว้าง
...

ย้อนเวลากลับไปหาท้องฟ้าในอดีตทุกวันที่เงยหน้าขึ้นมอง ยังไม่เห็นว่ามีวันไหนที่มีก้อนเมฆซ้ำกันสักวัน

ท้องฟ้าช่างขยันจริง
ขยันกว่าเราหลายเท่านัก
ทุกวันมัวแต่นั่งทำอะไรซ้ำๆ ซากๆ
มีชีวิตอยู่ตามตารางเวลาแม้ไม่ต้องทำงานตอกบัตร

เมื่อนึกอย่างนี้แล้วอยากจะหนีไปให้ไกลนัก
ให้ไกลออกจากเส้นตารางที่ขีดกั้นไม่ให้เดินออกจากเส้นทาง

...
เดือนก่อนมีเมฆฝนมากมายก่อตัวขึ้น
พวกมันรวมตัวกันเป็นก้อนเล็กก้อนใหญ่
เห็นแล้วใจหาย

ในใจหวั่นว่าฝนจะตก ฟ้าจะผ่าหรือไม่

ทั้งๆ ที่เมื่อก่อนจะไม่เคยหวั่นกลัวฝนมาก่อน
ไม่กลัวเพราะไม่รู้อันตรายจากฟ้าผ่า
ไม่กลัวเพราะไม่รู้จักไข้หวัด
ไม่กลัวเพราะห่วงว่าจะไม่ได้เล่นน้ำฝนมากกว่าห่วงเปียก

ทันใดนั้นเห็นสายฟ้าผ่าลงมาจริงๆ
ไม่นานฝนก็ตกลงมาห่าใหญ่
ไม่ว่าเป็นใครหากไม่มีร่มกำบังต้องเปียกปอนเป็นแน่

...

ตอนนี้เรากลับเลิกกลัวฟ้าฝนอีกครั้ง
ไม่ใช่เพราะไม่รู้จักอันตรายที่อาจได้รับจากธรรมชาติ
ไม่ใช่เพราะแข็งแกร่งจนไม่กลัวเจ็บป่วย

หากแต่เพราะอิจฉาอิสระเช่นฟ้าเหลือเกิน
อิสระที่สามารถสรรค์สร้างภาพที่แตกต่างกันได้ทุกวัน
อิสระที่สามารถปลดปล่อยเม็ดฝนโดยไม่เกรงใจใคร
อิสระที่ได้ทำตามธรรมชาติของตัวเอง

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

เหนือสิ่งอื่นใด

เมื่อไรที่รู้สึกว่าตัวเองเริ่มเหนื่อยกับสิ่งที่ตัวเองกำลังทำอยู่ เราจะหาสิ่งที่เข้ามาชะโลมจิตใจให้กับตัวเองอยู่เสมอ
ความเหนื่อยที่ว่านี้ไม่ได้ต้องการเวลาพักผ่อนหรืออย่างไร
หากแต่ต้องการอิสระไว้เพื่อสร้างความสุขให้กับจิตใจเท่านั้น

เมื่อปีที่แล้วเป็นช่วงชีวิตที่ได้ลิ้มลองการทำงานเป็นครั้งแรก ตอนนั้นเราได้รู้ว่าเงื่อนไขที่เขาว่ากันว่า...
ทำงานไม่สนุกอย่างที่ฝันไว้หรอก ไม่มีงานไหนที่ทำให้รู้สึกมีความสุขได้ทุกวัน
ไม่มีสังคมที่ทำงานไหนให้ความรู้สึกเหมือนพี่น้อง หรือครอบครัวได้
ฯลฯ

สิ่งที่เขาเคยว่ากันไว้ ไม่มีอะไรจริงเลยสักอย่างเดียว

มันขึ้นอยู่กับว่าเราค้นพบสถานที่ซึ่งเหมาะสมกับเราได้หรือเปล่าเท่านั้น
จนกระทั่งเวลาผ่านไป ไม่มีอะไรหยุดนิ่งอยู่กับที่ แม้กระทั่งความสุข สนุกสนาน

เราไม่ได้เรียกร้องให้ทุกสิ่งทุกอย่างคงเดิม
เรารู้ว่าทำไม่ได้
สิ่งที่ทำได้คือต้องเติมความสุขให้กับตัวเอง
เพื่อวันนึงเราจะมีแรงกำลังสร้างสรรค์ตามใจได้เหมือนเดิม

ขอเพียงอิสระเพื่อพักฟื้นชีวิตชีวาให้หัวใจเท่านั้น

ซึ่งที่นี่สามารถให้เราได้

ที่ซึ่งเราทิ้งไปเป็นปี
และยังคงอยู่ที่เดิมไม่แปรเปลี่ยน

Get the way to coming back here

I have lost my way to get into my blog for year!
Because I got a job and I lost my time.
most of the sorrow in my mind is I spend so much time to my work and don't writing my own story at all.

I will begin writing my blog again today.
This is what I should tell myself.

I didn't use english as I used to. Now I know how hard to start thinking in english again.

Maybe I would write it in Thai.
No matter who could understand. I just want to Keep Writing.

I miss myself so much

Friday, June 24, 2005

They said

sometime i heard someone said he did not see the star in these day.

i know that i hardly see the star as much as him
i really don't know that is because the sky don't have so much star to see or i hardly look up into the sky

i think it is the second reason

i thought that maybe just maybe...
my life is not have enough time as i used to

or i really don't know that why...
what is exactly the reason that i...my life is so far away from there.

in accually i can look at the sky as many time as i want

it is such a confuse context because i feel confuse in my head right now
but i just want to express it before i forget the day that i feel this way
maybe when i turn to read this text again i won't feel anything about it anymore
or maybe tihs can remind me to myself again

Friday, April 01, 2005

out of control

yesterday i know that i am an uncontrolable person.
i met the internet problem and another computer program and i cannot calm.
until now i still angry and thinking about the story that i had wrote.
yesterday i am a big dragon.big red dragon that put fire on the person i love and love me.

sometime i think, could i do that to them?
i wonder that so many time that people get angry to anything and anyone are they wrong.
i don't know that why people alway express bad temple or bad habit to another.

everyone wants other people to do good to them.
me too.

i still want to talk nicely to my mother or my friends when i get angry but i cannot.
i cannot control my temple.

am i becoming to be the beast?
i think yesterday i was and i was the bad beast.

today i am the same person as i was.
i tell everyone that i sorry. and they don't complain me.

i know that i have them in both good and bad time

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Another side

I want to cross the river to another side…
There is so bright and colorful. Many flowers and many butterflies are there.

The place that I stay now is not the interesting place. I feel bore staying in the same atmosphere, the same environment, the same place that I was born.

Have you ever felt like this? Sometime you stay in the same place for long time. You feel that every day in your life is the same. Nothing is going to be changing. Nothing is going to be exciting. Then you want a changing in your life.

Many people afraid of changing. They think that their life is stable and it is good enough. They do not have to take a risk in their destiny. I do not think so.

I think that everything has movement. The time is running, I am breathing. I never stand in the same spot. I never feel the same feeling in my memory. It is similar, just similar feeling. Then I never feel bore living my life.

I want to cross to another side of the river. There is nothing here, nothing interesting here anymore. When I look at the other side, it seems paradise to me. I stay here before I remember things. I want to go away. There is somewhere, in front of me, wild green field with the big tree, I cannot see the end of the green. I think if I were there, I would feel rich of glad.
I cannot cross the river in front of me because the water is too cold, and the river is too wild. The other side is too far for me. If only it was a little bit narrow. If only it was a little bit warm.

Many people always thing that if only I could do the thing I want, their life would be better, but they never really do it before. They never cross an obstacle in their mind. I see many people just talk about their dream and never do it. I know that they want to run away from the place they stay but they have never started to do it. Sometimes they feel like boring, but they do not do anything to change it. I do not think that my life is boring. You can try looking around yourself, in detail. You will see the difference of the world. When you thorough things, you will see the beauty in it. Sometimes you do not look at the trees in the path that you walk pass every day. You never see texture of bark, or flower. You will see it when you actually look at it.

I see the butterfly there. It is on the daisy. I want to go there and play with it.

The butterfly flies to me. It comes closer and closer. It flies pass my ear. I turn back to see it. In front of me, there is a wild green field, with big trees. I hear birds sing their song. I see the great place.

The little cat plays in that field with joyful.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

lonely town

I stay in Bangkok. I grow up in a small community of Bangkok. I study in nice school, and nice environment. I have good teacher and good friends. Everything is nice to me. I do not like traffic jam in the city so when I finished high school I decided to study at Silpakorn University.

I think that I am one of most lucky girl who gets a good chance to study here. I would like to tell you that I do not care about my grade. I just want to study what I want, in a good place like here.

In my first year, I spent most of my time in activities such as Freshman Game, Theatre drama, and else. I have got so many friends from those activities. The lesson in the first year is not too hard. I study in the morning and do the activities in the evening. One of my friends has a good time as I have. She stays with me almost all the time in the activities, but she do not come in class. First semester goes so fast. She does not make it good enough for her parent. Her mother does not want her to study here anymore.

She gets into the new University, which is one of the best Universities in Thailand, in the next year. It is in Bangkok. She is not so happy with new friends there. There are some different kinds of people in the city from people in the country. She tells me that there is the lonely place. She has only few friends who are not really good friends. I can hear the sadness in her voice. I cannot do anything.

I used to tell her about how happy I am when I stay here. Now I do not tell her any more.

She feels sad about herself. She always say that she loss some part of her heart. All I can do is listen to her.

I should know that how much of my happiness could hurt her. She cries of her life, the life that cannot change. She waits for the day that she can do whatever she wants, when she graduates.

Not only my close friend feels sad about staying in the city with lonely feeling, I also know other people who feel lonely when they go to study in the Universities in Bangkok. They do not want to go to study. They do not want to see the eye of stranger when other people look at them.

In these day, when I go to Bangkok, I walk in the street, there are many people waiting for the bus. Many people walk in unhappy face. I do not know where the smile in their face is. I do not like it at all. I know that everyone has to think of their work or their life, but life in these day do not have any good things to thinking about any more. I do not want to stay in this place. There is no place to take a rest and make me feel happy. I have to run away, somewhere.

This is a sad story of the people in the town. I really do not know what happen in this town. The world goes round and change the way of our living. People change their mind to be stranger. Am I going to be the one of lonely person in this lonely town? I really do not know

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Fish and Crab

This is a new story of friendship.

A Clown Fish blows many bubbles,
Some are big,
Some are small.
She born in a clearly water.
She swims so fast, faster than every clown fish.

One day, a Crab Junior passes by.
He has no friend.
She looks friendly.
He wants to be her friend.
She is glad that she will have new friend.
The Crab Junior thinks of a game to play.
“Pao Ying Chub” is a funny game to try.
This is the instruction,
When we say “Pao Ying Chub”
Your hand can be three things.
Paper, Hammer, and Scissors
Paper wins Hammer,
Hammer wins Scissors,
And Scissors wins Paper.

“Pao Ying Chub”
Crab Junior has got Scissors.
A Clown Fish has got Paper.
He wins.

“Pao Ying Chub”
Crab Junior has got Scissors.
A Clown Fish has got Paper.
He wins.

“Pao Ying Chub”
Crab Junior has got Scissors.
A Clown Fish has got Paper.
He wins again.

How can she win him because Crab junior has scissors hand, and she has paper hand.
“I do not want to lose you again and again anymore.
Let’s play something else.”

They change the game.
“Run and Catch”
Clown Fish will swim away.
Crab Junior will catch her.
She swims so fast.
He tries to catch her.

Rush…Rush…Rush…
He grabs her.

Grab…
Her

Crab Junior forgets that he has got scissors hand.
He cut her in two parts.

Just two minutes that they are friends.
The happiness becomes tragedy.
She feels a little bit sorry.
But she is okay.

“Never mind,
I was born in the clearly water
And die in the clearly water.
There is nothing to feel sad.
Crab Junior,
Don’t cry for the nice friendship that you give to me.
We just give and take it a short time,
And I have a short life.
That is all.
Good Bye, Crab Junior.
Good bye.”

Crab Junior feels sorry with everything he has done.

Friendship between the Clown Fish and Crab Junior is an innocent tragedy.
I think there are so many times that I hurt my friend’s feeling without meaning.
Sometimes they forgive, sometimes they forget.

I think I cannot judge which is really wrong. I think no one want to do wrong to anybody.
It depends on the intention. Everybody can make mistake to friend although he or she does not mean it.
The mistake can be happened by chance. Sometimes I want to help my friend to clean the room, but she cannot find her stuff. Sometime I want to be alone when I feel bad, but my friend wants to stay with me because she is worry about me.
I have to learn the difference of them. I learn that nothing wrong about friendship. It is wrong by purpose.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Pink in Blue

The meanings of color are told by the feeling that they express. Blue means lonely or sad. Pink means lively or cute.

I have my own meaning of color. In my opinion, the saddest color for me is pink. I write a story of “Pink Cloud.”

A Little Pink Cloud blows upon the sky.
There are many buildings along the way.
It takes not so long time until the Pink Cloud sees a long wide green field.
It is so green.
He sees a small cottage in the middle of the field.
This is a nice place.

A long time ago,
He saw many of his friends became rain.
They dropped so heavy in the city.

He confuses.
He does not remember the beginning of himself.
He knows that he never grows up.
He cannot change to be grey, he never changes.

At the beginning, he thinks it is funny to fly in the sky.
Blow with the wind in the wide world.
He enjoys traveling.
He enjoys flying.

Now, he does not know who he is?
He feels flowerless in his cloud’s heart.
He cannot express his sad feeling as his friends do.
His friends will become gray and cry in rain.
His blossom heart comes to fall.

Am I a really cloud?
What am I?

He is pink as always.
His heart contains hard rain in his heart so long.
He contains his feeling of confuse in his pink body.
He cannot cry it out.
A tear drops in his heart.

If only I can change.
If only I can be a really cloud.

I think I could release my sadness to go away.

A little cottage in the wide field, I see.
This is a beautiful place to take a rest.

His forgets his sadness in his mind.
That is my shadow,
Down there in the field.
Maybe, it is just a small shadow,
A buffalo can hide himself from the sun.


The Little Pink Cloud looks at the buffalo,
And smiles.
The buffalo smiles too.
He looks so happy.
The Pink Cloud thinks.
His heart finds a beautiful corner in his body.
In this place,
He finds happiness of being Pink Cloud.
I cannot drop the rain.
But I have a shadow to hide from the sunshine.
He gives all his love to the earth.
He gives a shadow to take a rest and hide.
The wind blow.

He smiles.

Pink is pink. It is never be something else.
That is the saddest in itself. If I cannot express my sadness I have, I could not cry.
Just like a Little Pink Cloud. It is happy ending in this story.
The Pink Cloud can finally find the good thing in him.
I wish I could find it when I feel bad too.




Monday, December 27, 2004

Color Language

A lot of shades of color in the universe are uncountable. We see many shades of them and call their names. For example, white, black, red, blue, green, yellow, orange, pink, violet, and else. Then we give special names for each shade of color by our sense of feeling.

The red shades are called by the name of flower, vegetable, animal, or else which have the same shade color as them. For example, red colors are called Crimson, Tomato, Salmon, Cranberry, Poppy, Wild Orchid, and English Rose. Every color has so many names to express their identity and to divide the different tone of color. There are mare sample names to explain the different feeling of each color. The yellow have the name Vanilla, Butter, Key lime, Lemon, Apricot, Peach, Orange, and Mango. The blue have Aquamarine, Winter green, Light blue, Navy, Royal blue, and Blueberry. The Green has Holiday, Crocodile, Teal blue, Mint, Grass, Fern, and Olive.

There are a lot of names that human give to color. I think it is because the color has deep meaning to human. The color expresses feeling. Human take it through their eyes to their heart. It is the language of nature. I see color by my eyes and translate it in my sense. The sensibility of my feeling takes the different power of emotion in each color.

Most of my friends have their favorite color which reflects our own habit. I think the reason that people have their favorite color is the color attracts them.

Color sends effect to me too. When I wear colorful cloth, other people might think that I am happy. I cannot tell that I am happy. Sometimes I wear them on because I want to cheer up myself when I feel sad, to cure my waterless heart.

There is no reason about feeling of color. Sometimes I feel that I like red, then another morning I prefer blue. I can tell you that I like yellow. I do not know why I like this color so much. And I do not like violet, although my friends like it a lot. This is why I think that color has language which can touch people feeling by their heart.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Do I hear my voice?

Sometime I feel happy. Sometime I feel lonely. Sometime I feel glad, sad, or mad. I do not know what happen to me.

Maybe, it is deep inside of my heart. The next question is where is my heart? I think it cannot be touched and see. I think it like a wind. I saw the movie “The Classic”. It is about love, but I impress one of the actress’s words. She said that love is like a wind, you cannot see it but you can touch it. Yes, you can touch it by your heart. The feeling everyone has is like the wind, too. The way I can understand myself is to touch my real thought and feeling.

Nowadays, the globalization makes the world become smaller. We live in the same world and nothing is new in human perspective anymore. Everything I see is everything is completed. I want things that I choose. I choose things from one place. Everyone buys things from the same place. I think I like the different way of fashion but I cannot wear different. I become the same as everyone. Where is the varied thing in human nature? There is no one all the same as everyone. I feel like I am walking out of the faculty in the same time as everyone in this world. We are all being suffered from politics, economics, and society. It is just the way of well made world, which I do not want to live in. I think I am going to lose myself. Sometime I feel suffer in the world. Everything around me is fake, it is unreal.

Do I hear my voice? I feel my feeling deep inside of me. I know what I want to be and try to live my life as I want. I know that the real is me. I just have to listen carefully to its voice. I know that it is hard to hear what exactly I really want because I grow up in the same environment as everyone. The way of hearing my own voice is to remember my dreams and my thought. I know that they can change to another way. Ours thought never be still. But if you do not forget the part of yourself, you would not lose it too.

Now, I do. I do hear my voice.


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Teddy Bear

A little soft fur teddy bear is the most like by every child in the world. It is cute and gentle. Although people are growing, they still love this teddy bear and hold them in their arms. Not only few people are charmed by this doll, but most of them are addicted to them.
Teddy bear is a present, gift, and symbol of adorable plaything. Some one values teddy bear as a friend, to hug, share, love, and take care. Elvis Presley sang a song about teddy bear too.

Teddy Bear By Elvis Presley

Baby let me be,

your lovin' Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck,
and lead me anywhere
Oh let me be Your teddy bear.
I don't wanna be a tiger
Cause tigers play too rough
I don't wanna be a lion
'Cause lions ain't the kind you love enough.
Just wanna be, your Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck and lead me anywhere
Oh let me be Your teddy bear.
Baby let me be, around you every night
Run your fingers through my hair,
And cuddle me real tight

Do you see how they love this teddy bear? I do not think so. I do not much dolls. I do not have teddy bear at all. I do not understand why I do not have one.
When we were child, we gave names to our toys. We have dolls or cars with name such as a cat doll named “Kitty”, a toy car named “Nick”, and else. There we have a bear named teddy around the world. So many children do not have any toy of they own. What do they play? Do they lose their love? I do not think so.
When we are talking about the meaning of teddy bear, I think it just a doll which becomes a thing that represents love and friendship. Do we lose love? I do not know. The real world a bear is a wild animal. It is fierce and dangerous. How about the real bear? Do we love them? Human kill animals, eat and sale them. We see them in the zoo. We do test a lot product on them. Where is love? I do not know.
When I see teddy bears in shop, sometime I see them in the beautiful boxes or cages, tie them with colorful ribbons, they are so cute. I feel sad. I think of the real life of them in this world. They do not get any love. They do not look pretty as teddy. I cannot change to way the world is. I cannot change the way people’s thought. Let it be, I think.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Little bird

I write a poem. It is about a lonely bird.

Dried leaves
I’m a little bird
I fly alone, no one flies with me
Even one
When I look at you and your friends
You blow with the wind,
Like dancing
Look at you, full of joy
Not like me

Dear! Little bird,
I’m dried leaf and friends.
You thought we are dancing,
Look at me
I blow with the wind
Without wind,
I couldn’t go so far
Use your wings
Even alone,
You can fly.

I think of myself. When I feel lonely. I look at other people, which have many friends. They stay together. Sometimes I think that I have a lot of friends, but I still feel lonely. I understand what the phrase “Lonely in the crowd” means. Maybe, I don’t know how to express my feeling. I have few friends that I can talk to, but I do not stay with them all the time I want. Sometimes when I need them and they do not stay around, I feel like I cannot fly by myself. I feel a little bit envy other people, when they stay together and look like so happy. In the other hand, they might not feel that happy. How can I know that they are really happy? I should learn to fly by myself. I have to live my life alone anyway. This is my life. I have to deal with anything, which happen in my life. Now I realize that I can fly, and I can do it so well. I have some plan for myself. The future is not so far. It is just beneath our nose. We breathe it in every minute, but we hardly feel it. Now I try to do my best by myself. There are a lot of hard times in my life but I can get through it every time. I do not have to worry about problem in my life anymore. I might feel bad sometimes but I can make it. I have so many good friends in my life. They make me happy. They have their wings to fly by themselves as I. I wish that I could fly beside them all.



Tried Ant

I was the head of drama club of Silpakorn University. I think it has to have got a lot of responsibility to deal with the activities in the club. There are so many times that I have to do everything by myself. Sometimes I feel that it is too hard for me.
How could I be the head of the club? When we first discuss of member of the board, I said to my friends that, “I can do everything you want, just put my name in one position which no one want to do.” When I came back, I found that they put my name in the head position. I understood that everyone did not want to hold all of the work. It was too hard to manage everything, and it was true.
One project that I needed to share works to the members, I asked them about help. Everyone kept silent. I felt so bad. It seemed like I tried to manage everything and wanted their help to make it complete. After the silent, I went out of the table for a while. My friends stayed still. I thought they were thinking about that situation. They felt guilty.
I know that they do not want to hurt my feeling. I do not angry or complain them. We cannot take care of ourselves. There are so many works to do. Everyone has things to do, and so do I. There was some moment in my heart that I felt like a tried ant. I was an ant that worked so hard. I just wanted some place to take a rest. There was a big tree over there. I sat under the tree. The wind blowed so soft. The sound of the wind soothed me. A lot of leaves waved and greeted to me. There was nothing to worry. I had many friends here understood me.
When I went back to the table. My friends took responsibility for the project. I was glad that they took this job. I thought they needed sometime to make decision and learned to take responsibility of something else.
I learn to escape to another place, to take care of my feeling. Everybody needs some place to hide him or herself from confused world. I already have it. Some place, under the tree. I can sit and relax myself for a while. How about you? If you do not have any place, I could lend you my place.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

I want to be a dragon.

Have you ever want to be a dragon? I do not think so. I saw many movie which have many image of dragon. Some are good and some are bHave ad. I remember that my first cartoon animation is "Sleeping Beauty". I think everyone have seen this before. The witch finally become a dragon. It wants to kill the prince who tries to help the princess. The dragon burns everything with the passion of fire. I do not want to be that dragon but sometime - just only sometime I want to explode my furious anger with the fire like a dragon.
The day that I want to be the dragon was the clearly sunshine day. It was no sign of darkness in my mind. I was happy with that day until I help my friend to do her work in a play production. I was a sound operator in her production, it played in Bangkok. When I offered her my help she was so glad and I just saw she did not have enough members in this production. When I worked with her it was so bad. She treated me like I am an employee in a company. No friendship, no kindness. I did not think that she would do this to me. It was not the way I like to work with. There were another two friends that go to help her and felt in the same way. She never asked us for lunch. She went to have lunch with a group of actors which she never introduced us to know. I felt like a stranger. I was depressed and wanted to burn everything in front of me as a dragon but I could not.
I think it is so hard to company with people in this society. There are so many different kinds of people which I cannot live with. I cannot get along with this kind of people. Why don’t they concern the other’s feeling? It would be nice if everybody watch and see other around them. Everyone has feeling and wants to be take care of the sensation of their mind. In the present day, people concern about themselves and cry for good words and good feeling from everyone else.
Now the situation of want to be a dragon of me is gone. My life goes round with the world. I know that I cannot ask for a kindness from everyone. I just do not want to make myself like a mean person which make other people want to be a dragon as I was. I think I want to be something else. For example, I want to be an angle who spells something good for my good friend. Maybe this world would be more lively and modest.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

The Sun and the Moon and Me

When I look at the sky I see sun shine during the day and moon shine during the night. The bright of sunlight and the soft moonlight remind me something. The balance of nature Chinese philosophy “Tao” calls “Ying” and “Yang”, hot and cold.
I look at the sun and moon and realize that human is like them. I always have two different sides of thoughts or behavior. Sometimes it appears like sun shine and sometimes it has a shade of shadow to hind and show only some part like the moon.
I believe that everyone is both sun and moon. Sun shines sunlight; it has power of its own. Everyone has the driving force behind the power such as need, inspiration, dream, instinct, and else. In my opinion, this is the energy which can shines like the sun in the human part. Sometimes I like the moon. When I would like to do something that I plan or dream of but I cannot let it all out as I want. It is like the moonlight that sometimes show in a quarter. Moon shows the light in the surface. The moonlight shows in a quarter or full because the moon’s orbit around the earth. It is not different from me. There are many elements of life which could be a shade of shadow such as obstacle and problem in my life. Then I can show my ability in a quarter of all I have. In this moment I face the problem of explains my thought and idea; it shows as a small quarter of the moonlight.
I think that sometimes I have to know what time I should be like the sun. When I create a good idea, I should show that it is my idea with proud. I do not have to hide myself in the shadow or to be shy. In the other way, there are some situations that I have to share a credit to my friend. Some kinds of work or some important day, I have to let the other shine their light. For example, my friend’s birthday I prepare small surprise party for her. All I do is to make her to be the most important person in her special day. That is the time for me to be the moon.
I have to learn how to balance “Ying” and “Yang”, the sun and moon in me. All the thoughts I have as the sun, I have to deal it with the skill of using instrument and shine as full moon. The way of balance is to practice, study, and learn everything in everyday life. Then I can be full moon shine softly in the sky with the star in the same as everyone.